Ishaisms, Poetry

Confession

Forgive me, father, for I have sinned
I’ve lied…
conned myself into believing that something good is coming for me
I’ve been deceitful…
tricked everyone into thinking that I’m okay
I’ve conspired,
against the happiness of my own heart
I’ve disbelieved
in the beauty and capability of my own soul
I’ve hurt the one I was born to give utmost love to…
and in doing that,
I have committed murder
the murder of my own spirit…

Now, I see no salvation in sight for me…
No hail Marys, no prayers, no counting of beads
will help me release
These fetters cut into my false flesh
“I fall upon the thorns of life, I bleed”
It’s funny how Shelley always knew me, but I never did

I hoped against all odds and now the odds have come to get me
The authorities all in threatening uniforms induce dread in me
I’m no stranger to dread though, I’ve feared the worst all along
Unable to live in the moment, I’ve always lived in the past and the future
Fear, and dread, father, by now is a second nature
Lights flash upon me, they pelt their accusations and curses like stones
And my spirit lies breathless beneath, cut, degraded and torn

Now I can’t walk any farther,
Unless some divine power helps me
This is the end of me, father,
and honestly,
I doubt even your God
would go out of his way to help me

Β© Isha Garg

15 thoughts on “Confession”

  1. Hoping this is not an expression of your own inner turmoil . I hate to think of you consumed with remorse and self doubt! Please tell me , that it’s just the ramblings of a poet ….being channeled by some unknown source. As always, beautifully written ! πŸ’™

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you, Patty! It is an expression of my “inner turmoil” as you so eloquently put it, but the moment’s passed and I am much better now. Thank you for your constant support, dearest friend, it really is cherished. Much love! πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The post where Diana reads the author’s replies to comments IMMEDIATELY after reading the poem! There is great value in catharctic prose. But still, I had to read your words and ponder on the hashtags to ensure the dark moment had dissolved ….. love you my friend xo

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Love you more! πŸ’•πŸ€— Worry not, I’ve reconciled myself to the highs and lows of life – and leant to swim instead of giving up and sinking when the latter surfaces! 😘 Thank you my dearest Lady D! πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Always a pleasure dear Isha. And I’m sure deep down we wouldn’t want to be set afloat on calm waters in endless sea. It would get boring after the first month or so not to mention the horrific sunburn. Even if Mr N.Man was holding a parasol to shield the skin…..

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Lol! Nothing we say about N man would ever keep his identity, er, sheathed. Hehehehe πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ€£
        Indeed, the low tide is as important as the high one… It’s not a fun ride that doesn’t shock and surprise with unexpected twists and turns! 😘

        Like

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