Ishaisms, Reflections

On the art of knowing…

We meet and interact with so many people in life, yet how many of those can we claim to truly know, despite regular meetings or communication? How many of them have realities that tend to differ from their projection of it? How many can never live up to the idea of them that we, in the naïve poetry of our souls, tend to build up, only to be disappointed, one word or action at a time; and give up on the relationship thinking that they’ve changed? Do we really fall for the qualities in people, or for the qualities they evoke in us; do we fall for their personalities or for the ideas we form in our heads about them?

What does it mean, dear reader, to know another person?

Perhaps it is vital to make the most of any relationship; to let it play out as it must, and have its way with you, so to speak. A relationship should be allowed to inspire you, enrich you and nourish you with its positivity and nutrients, for, given the uncertainty of life, the only thing that you can be sure of retaining from it, is the vibration of connection, the energy of understanding, and, of course, the friendship and love. The spiritual connection will live on, even after the physical is long gone. Even the unwelcome parts of a relationship, should you let it, will serve the purpose of helping you explore your own self and discover your hidden or latent aspects, for every knowing is a two-way process. We get to know ourselves as we begin to know another person.

Yet within this two way process too, there can be two sides. Sometimes, the things that are magnificent to behold, lose their glory when actually held; so a person may also lose their enigma, or the beautiful idea of themselves that they’ve helped create by meshing with your own ideas of them, once known on a deeper, a more intimate level. In other words, knowing someone beyond the surface sometimes ruins their poetry, for the poetry of some relationships usually lie in not knowing, in wondering, in creating; which is why reality can be disappointing and even heart breaking at times.

Yet no matter what, as immortal souls and mortal beings, we tend to have ties towards other souls, pull towards people, a sense of belonging and collectiveness; and as long as that exists, the line between fictional poetry and the reality of the regular will continue to be blurred, and the boundary perpetually crossed; and every relationship, every knowing, will walk as much in reality, as it will dance in poetry and fiction.

Until next time,

© Isha Garg

Doodle by Isha Garg

101 thoughts on “On the art of knowing…”

  1. Not all are meant to stay forever, some just come to teach us lesson and open our hearts a little more than before.
    You can’t know a person completely. Each one of us evolve daily, we go through so many changes that tracking down the progress is tedious. What we know of a person is what they show us. Completely knowledgeable of other one is a myth because in a world where we even don’t know ourselves completely, we surely can’t know others.

    The connection is the force that pull us towards people but in the end it’s the effort that keeps a relation rather than the initial connection.
    We are protagonist and antagonist of our lives and so are those we know or what to know. What I believe is there’s always some reality in fiction and some fiction in reality. The two are inseparable at times. We hide secrets in the veil of fiction at times.❤️
    A thought provoking post. Answered so many questions of my anxious mind and dubious heart.💖

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Oh my! Ishaisms is lucky to have such philosophy shared by the master poetess herself! ❤ I agree with you, and love what you wrote about our evolution and changes… It changes our notions about others indeed. So insightful! Although, I don’t think effort necessarily is required to perpetuate a relation (worth keeping) – the point in lasting relationships is that there is no effort required. The love flows like an unending river. Everything else is superficial in the face of it. When it’s real, it’s real for good. No effort is needed. 😊❤

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I agree. The love in some relations flow like unending river😘 Beautiful thought indeed. I am understanding life a little more with your posts Isha 💖 keep up the good work.😊

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Loved the article, both in the way it poses the question and the way it offers the answers. The last paragraph is brilliant, and soulful as one of my friends likes to say.
    There are many lines in this post that I can quote, but I might end up quoting most, as one of my friends likes to say.

    I agree with Sameera too in the sense that there are no absolutes when it comes to knowing a person, its a process that happens within yourself, as you clearly state. So when you lose interest or the naive poetry in your soul stops rhyming, its usually you and not the other person responsible for the change. Other people are like us, unfathomable…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I adore these essays of yours… as I read I can feel the warm tone of your voice, and I imagine waking up in the middle of the night and hearing you speak on old time radio. What comfort that would be! To hear of the conjured idealism of some relationships; those that do not meet expectations… and the surprising ones that last a lifetime after tentative beginnings.
    Your musings are our voices, dear writer…and hearing you and being immersed in your gentle, intelligent composition is a pleasure! 👏🏻❤️❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Before I respond, let me bask in the warmth of your words, take a moment…and proceed 💛
      What you talk about, happens to me too – reading your words in your musical voice, Lady D! 😘
      The “conjured idealism of some relationships” made me pause for applause.
      It was a great day when I started blogging for I was slated to meet a poet, a soul friend and a dynamic human being, like you ❤❤❤

      Liked by 1 person

  4. This is a concept I think on frequently, and have alluded to in many of my writing… It is near impossible to know if we ever really “know” those we love. We try our best, but even in trying, we construct our own perception of that person based on our own mental framework. And as you note, sometimes, the more we learn about someone (or the more they learn about us), the less interest there is, as the mystery evaporates and we find our mental image flawed. All we can do is try to see clearly and objectively, appreciating others for who they are and not who we want them to be…

    Liked by 3 people

    1. You said it, and with such gentle efficacy that it reaches the heart. The last line is profound, Auroraboros! Thank you for sharing your comments – they’re always significantly beautiful!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I am so glad I was able to contribute to the. conversation; I love when I find writing that inspires me to respond, and even more so that response becomes an interaction. Thank you for continuing to write such thought-provoking posts so as to enable thought from your readers such as myself. 🙂

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Conversations sparked by blog posts, are the best I agree. WP is a forum of such great thinkers and writers like you, and having them share their thoughts is such a thrill and privilege. This is why I love writing these reflections when I can. 😊📝
        Thanks so much!

        Liked by 2 people

  5. ” Ishaism” is gaining more and more popularity I believe…preaching such thought provocative beliefs is sure gonna make you more famous!!
    Loved the ending where relationships will walk in reality and dance in poetry… Lovingly well written..
    Have a great day/evening/night….(depending on your geolocation)!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Reading this brings up a very pertinent question..will I ever get to know the different “me’s” contained within the me I think I know? Much of ourselves is forever repressed and rarely ever gets to see the sun, sometimes never.
    You say we get to know ourselves a bit more as we begin to know others. And I completely agree with you there. But I’m more of a recluse. I don’t enjoy interactions with people as much as I used to. Does that mean I’m becoming a hindrance to my own growth?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Thank you Isha! You made me question myself and take another look at the choices I’m making in life currently. I’m socially awkward and it takes an insane amount of self motivation to meet people. But I do remember the time this wasn’t the case. I’m not too sure I will ever cross over to that side. But I can certainly hope. It is nice to know there are many people out there who have been there and come out strong. So I’m glad I got a chance to know you here! Thanks for your gorgeous words! Will keep coming back for more!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I think an immediate response for me is twofold. Knowing involves a mutuality which requires listening too; and , the first time I was challenged in how I knew someone was when they asked me to be a character reference, that really caused me to think about people differently.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thank you most kindly. I will enjoy reading more of your writing now that I have found your blog and subscribed. If I don’t post too often, just know that I am the caregiver for my significant other, Richard, who has major health problems and I also have my own physical challenges to deal with, but I will write as I am able.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I think that is where relationships start to go wrong. When we learn what the person is really like, the shine is gone.
    I tend to think, really really good friendships can be forever. They have a greater depth and cement that can keep them together than the love kind of relatonship.
    Beautiful post my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Smiling.
        Isha, I was naive enough to believe that my Worpress friends would be faithful and supportive of my new Youtube thing. I was certain so many would be supportive of my new found happiness.


        In the end, people will be people. That is why I love dogs and cats more and more everyday.

        Life teaches you a new lesson everyday.
        You never stop learning……

        Be well. My best to you and everyone you love.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I wouldn’t call that naivety, Drew. It’s only human. I have had friends who complely stopped communicating once I was published.
        I read something beautiful somewhere recently which might offer some perspective here, that, as you evolve, it involves a certain death of the old you, and an ascension to a higher vibration. Now in that higher vibration, those that are either in the same frequency or at one higher than yours will meet you, respond to you – the others get left behind. It hurts, we miss them. They struggle with the duality of their feelings towards us, but at the end of the day, after a period of let’s say, chrysalis, they move on their journey and we must meet ours, and not look back. The great news there is that you’ll only retain the best and the better.

        And anyway, if this damn pandemic has taught us anything, it is that people’s real faces are are always behind masks 🤣 (poor joke, I know, but oh, well..)

        Liked by 2 people

      3. So so true…

        Funny, what you just said, is what I always say about relationships and marriage. People grow and in the proces they grow apart.

        This was a good and much needed conversation. Thank you.


        Liked by 1 person

  11. knowing someone beyond the surface sometimes ruins their poetry …this is so beautifully said and so often true. So many shifts happen in relations, especially as someone submitted to personal growth, I find myself forever discovering myself in a new way and then trying to make sense of what is happening to relations – long-term and new ones around me. It gets confusing with the new ones and a lot of compassion with the old ones.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been there. You said it so well I think as human beings we’re just bound to flow in life’s fast current, holding on momentarily to those we meet on our path, yet constantly moving forward.

      Liked by 1 person

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