humour, Ishaisms, Poetry

(Please) don’t say hello! – A manual for the socially anxious.

Of the few blessings bestowed upon our kind,
loving from a distance is most benign.
Declining calls, (then text messaging), a godsent;
to openly socialise you never were meant!

Bumping into “Hello”ing acquaintances is an ordeal –
brace yourself for the range of anxiety you’ll feel!
Smiling won’t come easy, nor making small talk,
try looking down (or anywhere else) when you walk.

Sunglasses will be your boon in warm weather.
In winter, just flip that voluminous hair toward danger!
Avoid eye contact wherever you may be
(the trick’s to make them think you didn’t see).

Try not to give offense, (they’ll never understand why)
and if it doesn’t work…well, at least you tried!
The layman cannot fathom the socially anxious –
they take it as a challenge: Form factions! Issue sanctions!

Be unavailable, and distant and decline invitations.
For nosy, clingy ones – (Voila! Fake prescriptions!)
You could also always simply blame the workload…
you’re lounging by the pool at home- who needs to know?

It’s better to fake it, till you safely make it to those
that are YOUR tribe, not dreaded social-butterflies n’ bores.
You simply vibe in select circles and prefer quality solitude –
it can’t be helped if they assume you’ve got an attiude.

And, in the end, if you still find yourself in social jeopardy,
fret not, book a ticket, and get outta the country!
Although, wherever you go, you’ll still be you… What do we do?
Eh, who cares? This poetic manual here, will (temporarily) see you through!

© Isha Garg

2 thoughts on “(Please) don’t say hello! – A manual for the socially anxious.”

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