Ishaisms, Love, Reflections

On ‘pair-pressures’ and plus-ones…

Dear reader, lately, I’ve found myself reflecting on relationships; the covert societal pressures that influence people today, regardless of age, making puppets of those doubtful ones, with wavering courage to follow their own path, by preying on their fear of judgment and loneliness – only to lead to a society where the suppression of human nature and real desires in order to ‘fit in’, makes one a behavioral clone of the other, thereby, cyclically perpetuating that fear of loneliness and judgment, and that need to preserve a projected image.

It is no wonder then, that people are said to reveal their truest selves when given a mask to don.

People today, it seems, are so pressurised to be in a relationship, that they tend to look for short term affairs, whatever is available, just to feel a little less lonely, just to have a plus one at that friend’s party, to have someone to talk to/be with/talk about with friends – simply to derive a certain sense of validation, gratification, even security in most cases, repressing their human instincts to pursue passionate and soul connections, and not just to do things for the sake of doing them.

It is so dire, dear reader, to know oneself first, as much as one can – what one likes, what makes one happy and and the end of the day what are the qualities that one truly needs in one’s relationship – going beyond the attraction and the need, to true connection that will exalt one to the highest version of oneself, and stand the test of treacherous times.

Perhaps today, due to said pressures of society and culture, people are afraid of being by themselves, discovering themselves, for there’s so much paranoia and judgment that comes with being single that an easy recourse is both attractive and available, and therefore adhered to. Yet, true fulfillment, ironically lies in taking the opposite path – figuring out what qualities one is looking for in another, to mesh with one’s own unique and special characteristics, through a process of soul searching – something one can’t do as long as one is with someone, for soul searching is a solo process.

Knowing oneself, being awakened to one’s needs – however they may baffle the mind or defy the bounds of reason – in other words, being in one’s own truth, solely, and ultimately, opens the gateway to ‘the one‘, the twinflame, the soulmate, the true love – for it is only when the pretense is shed, and there is that ‘real’ moment, of being vulnerable and unguarded in one’s utter truth, that one is most lovely, and in that moment, well, love begins…

Until next time,

Β© Isha Garg

29 thoughts on “On ‘pair-pressures’ and plus-ones…”

  1. There is so much truth in what you say. Today, people are in a rush and pressured to be in relationships. For instance, a breakup should lead to a time of introspection. Who I was ten years ago and what I needed from a relationship back then, are not who I am today and what I need today. Self examination is always needed after every relationship ends. Yet, people rush into the next boy/girlfriend and make the same mistakes all over again.

    Perhaps, it is the pressure of social media where everyone wants to demonstrate a perfect life which means a good partnership.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I couldn’t agree more, Drew. Especially the part about social media, today’s culture and the constant need to project and hide behind a created image. So true how you examine a perfect love life being regarded as the perfect life in the digital world.

      Thank you for your precious insight, dear friend. I truly appreciate your words.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. A very meaningful post! Yes, you need to know yourself, before entering into a relationship. It isn’t easy, having to deal with another person…. on a day to day basis. Moods change, attitudes develop. The initial high, the physical connection, propels us….. but, it can’t be sustained. There’s something to be said…. for NOT being in a relationship. When I wasn’t paired with someone else…. I often felt alienated, but having to confer and answer to someone else, can be oppressive and constricting…leading to resentment. Societal expectations play a major role in our decisions, to seek and maintain a relationship with someone else. Six of one, half dozen of another! We should not be defined by our relationship status. Unfortunately, we don’t always grow intellectually or emotionally, at the same pace! Thus the term, “You’ve outgrown the relationship”. It happens! πŸ’™

    Liked by 2 people

  3. This is so wisely written thought. Haste in anything results in a disaster and our lives are not worth it to battered through they storm. On the contrary I also love the thought of meeting someone without condition or rational thinking when soul clicks and love happens. Loved your thought

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh I agree Shantanu, meeting people without conditions and reason – but like you say, the soul must click, and I feel that comes with knowing ones soul and being in one’s highest vibration – for isn’t it when the other person’s energies vibrate on the same frequency as ours, that the soul clicks? πŸ˜‰
      Truly appreciate your valuable insight.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. Until next time … such sage words to chew on! I’m not even certain of your true age, dear Ishu. I suspect you are many generations lived – and certainly this is confirmed with such musings. I wish I had read you when I was in my twenties – but if you do the math on that it was your former life and I’m not sure you were writing: for you were soaring with outstretched wings …and I no doubt was gazing and bewitched by the winged dance of a blessed creature ❀

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Your words in this comment are so beautiful, and the image you close it with so striking, that I’m transported to a beautiful, dazzling, fantastical land – and find myself incapable of doting on them in praise.
      Ever inspiring poetess, thank you from the bottom of my heart!

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh dear Ishu….even the bottom of your heart is such expansive pool of warmth I’m happily submerged… and coming up for air or to gaze at the sky is unnecessary.Your friendship is infinite and I am so grateful in return ….. hallelujah sweet sister of words! πŸŒΉπŸ’œπŸŒΉβ€οΈπŸŒΉπŸ™

        Liked by 2 people

  5. Very well written, this is engaging and so relevant. Or is it, wasnt this the issue at all ages. Being of age and still single was a clear sign of being the one not chosen for contributing to evolution. The pressure might be more now with more people judging you thanks to the ease of being connected with more due to advancement of technology. Technology makes access to more people easy too, so one has fewer excuses of not finding the compatible one. If you pause and spend time discovering yourself, your soulmate might succumb to the pressure and settle for a plus-one.


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