On ‘pair-pressures’ and plus-ones…

Dear reader, lately, I’ve found myself reflecting on relationships; the covert societal pressures that influence people today, regardless of age, making puppets of those doubtful ones, with wavering courage to follow their own path, by preying on their fear of judgment and loneliness – only to lead to a society where the suppression of human nature and real desires in order to ‘fit in’, makes one a behavioral clone of the other, thereby, cyclically perpetuating that fear of loneliness and judgment, and that need to preserve a projected image.

It is no wonder then, that people are said to reveal their truest selves when given a mask to don.

People today, it seems, are so pressurised to be in a relationship, that they tend to look for short term affairs, whatever is available, just to feel a little less lonely, just to have a plus one at that friend’s party, to have someone to talk to/be with/talk about with friends – simply to derive a certain sense of validation, gratification, even security in most cases, repressing their human instincts to pursue passionate and soul connections, and not just to do things for the sake of doing them.

It is so dire, dear reader, to know oneself first, as much as one can – what one likes, what makes one happy and and the end of the day what are the qualities that one truly needs in one’s relationship – going beyond the attraction and the need, to true connection that will exalt one to the highest version of oneself, and stand the test of treacherous times.

Perhaps today, due to said pressures of society and culture, people are afraid of being by themselves, discovering themselves, for there’s so much paranoia and judgment that comes with being single that an easy recourse is both attractive and available, and therefore adhered to. Yet, true fulfillment, ironically lies in taking the opposite path – figuring out what qualities one is looking for in another, to mesh with one’s own unique and special characteristics, through a process of soul searching – something one can’t do as long as one is with someone, for soul searching is a solo process.

Knowing oneself, being awakened to one’s needs – however they may baffle the mind or defy the bounds of reason – in other words, being in one’s own truth, solely, and ultimately, opens the gateway to ‘the one‘, the twinflame, the soulmate, the true love – for it is only when the pretense is shed, and there is that ‘real’ moment, of being vulnerable and unguarded in one’s utter truth, that one is most lovely, and in that moment, well, love begins…

Until next time,

© Isha Garg